Monday, August 28, 2006

Whose National Day Is It?


LL : Happy National Day Everybody!
KK : Happy National Day Evewybodeee...!
LL : Our National Day falls on 9th August and this year our nation is 41 years old, you know KK?
KK : But today is not 9th August....
LL : Ya hor...Eh passed long long time ago??
KK : Ya ya, you wrong le....
LL : Never mind. Seems like we're closer to Malaysia's national day. To save our face, still Happy National Day! To our neighbours!
KK : Selamat Hari Kebangsaan...
LL : Wa, KK , you can speak Malay ?
KK : Ya, i learn from Kakak.
LL: OK, it's time for us to change our shirt. We need to add some yellow and blue colour to our shirt.
KK : Let's get our crayon and paint on our shirts... heehee
LL : Let's go!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Schumi's Hall of Shame


Michael Schumacher, the greatest driver ever to grace the formula one scene, ever. If you think this post of mine is to glorify him further, then you're obviously wrong! People living around me are only too aware of my hatred for this androgynous-looking chap. Therefore, today i am opening up an inventory of past Schumi controversies. The top three are what i call the 'Big Three' while the rest are up to you to decide what went wrong.
NUMBER ONE
Where : Adelaide 1994
The last race of a season that was marred by the death of F1 legend and season favourite Ayrton Senna. Schumi went into the race 1 point ahead of arch rival Damon Hill. On lap 36, Schumi ran wide and clipped a wall, damaging his car, in the process. Hill did not see this little accident and when he arrived at the turn, he quickly seized the opportunity to overtake Schumi who was out of the racing line. Schumi turned into Hill's car, taking both of them out of the race. Michael Schumacher won his first world title there and then.
Schumi's explanation : His steering wheel was not working properly and he did not see Hill nipping in from behind, hence caushing him to drive into Hill while getting back into the racing line.
Consequence : Nothing. No punishment whatsoever.
NUMBER TWO
Where : Jerez 1997
A sense of deja vu for all in the paddock as Schumi headed into the final race 1 point ahead of Jacques Villeneuve. Prior to the race, Schumi declared that it will be a straight fight on the track instead of being decided by a collision or in court. Tsk tsk... if he had only known....
On lap 48, at the Dry Sac corner, Villeneuve sliced down on the inside of Schumi's car in a lightning quick move to overtake. In a moment of desperation, Schumi lunged across the track in an attempt to cripple Villeneuve's car in a repeat of Adelaide 1994. In an odd twist of fate, Schumi's car spun into the gravel trap, Villeneuve finished the race to be crowned world champion.
Schumi's explanation : Jacques was attempting to overtake far too late into the corner. If he ( Schumi ) had not been there to block Jacques, he would've spun out of control at the corner. In short, JV used Schumi as a bolster to pull off a successful overtaking manoeuvre. Wow, Schumi made himself sound like a good samaritan.
Consequence : FIA summoned Schumi to appear in their court in Paris. Schumi was stripped of his 2nd place in the championship but allowed to keep points and wins. Gah, i thought the penalty was ridiculously lenient. Hey, not just me, but almost the entire F1 paddock thought so too =)
NUMBER THREE
Where : Monaco 2006
To tell you the truth, this is my all-time favourite! The incident occurred during qualifying at the Rascasse corner and this incident is now affectionately known as Rascasse-gate. Schumi had set the fastest qualifying lap and was on provisional pole. His rival Fernando Alonso was on his way to erasing that result. Schumi who was ahead of Alonso, sort of zig-zagged at the last corner, losing control and parked his car on the circuit. The session was yellow-flagged, forcing Alonso to slow and lose potential pole position. Many observers argued that it was a plot meticulously plotted by a driver in desperation. It was also bizarre that such a basic error could happen to an establised superstar and his car was unscathed.
Schumi's Explanation : He locked up his tyres, misjudged the corner and lose control.
Consequence : A public outcry by the formula 1 community for unsporting behaviour. Quotes from 2 past world champs ; Jackie Stewart " This was too blatant. When you see it in slow motion, turning the wheel one way and then the other, he had plenty of time to do something."
Keke Rosberg " He's a cheap cheat. He should go home and leave the sport to honest people". The race stewards decided that the action was intentional and moved his starting position to the back of the grid. Their statement after the announcement came as " If he'd damaged his car, we'd probably have filed the incident as an error. As it was, to park it like that, you can only do that deliberately. " Hurrah!
BEST OF THE REST ( Other minor controversies)
Australia 2005
Schumi tangled with Nick Heidfeld. Track marshals ignored the stranded Heidfeld but helped push Schumi's car back onto the track. Heidfeld retired from the race. Talk about preferential treatment!
Britain 2004
Schumi spun his car during first qualifying. This was a move to ensure that he could come out for qualifying first in the 2nd session, beating the expected rain. He qualified on the front row (before the rain), while Kimi Raikkonen and Alonso near the back of the grid due to qualifying laps in the rain.
Austria 2002
Rubens Barrichello led for much of the race only to let teammate Schumi through to win on the last lap after receiving orders from the Ferrari team through the radio.
Germany 2001
After a collision at the start with Burti, Schumi drove his damaged car to the middle of the track and stalled there in an attempt to get the race red-flagged for a restart. It worked...
Britain 1998
Became the first ever driver to win a race while parked in the pitlane. He was penalised for a stop-go penalty. Schumi paid his penalty on the last lap, avoiding the slow out-lap that would cost the win. Sly....

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Welcome To My Life

~By Simple Plan~
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Fake Doctors


4 chemists
3 hunks
2 managers
1 bitch

Monday, August 07, 2006

School Days Part II

1993 - I finally grew up and was promoted to secondary school. Just to sum up, my secondary school was an eyesore, really. It was painted pink all over, i guess that's what you would expect when your principal's name is Mimi Asmara.
I was originally posted to another co-ed school nearby but divine intervention landed me in this school instead. I was ecstatic, and really enjoyed every single moment there.
1993 was the year i picked up softball. It was to be an integral part of my life for the next 5 years. Till today, i am able to recall that fateful first training. I was a scrawny dancer back then and i had no idea how to toss the ball. I have a feeling that my coach really liked me =) She never once raised her voice at me, not even when i somehow miraculously injured both my hamstring muscles during a tournament and my teammates told me i was in for a scolding back then. Aside from the stitches i needed for the torn eyelid, the twisted fingers and 4-hour daily training leading up to a tournament, i must admit i didn't know i could derive so much joy from chasing a small little leather ball in a large diamond field.
1994-95 - I don't have much recollections from these 2 years except that i was a quiet student. I was not a prefect, in fact i was not a leader at all. I preferred to keep a very low profile in class, i guess. Oh ya! One of the big news back then really left us shell-shocked. My Living Skills teacher was found dead in his house. Apparently, he was electrocuted whilst he was trying to change the lightbulb in his living room. Talk about irony ; the person who educated us just weeks earlier on how to change the lightbulb in our homes actually perished doing what he was supposed to know best. Speaking of Living Skills, all schools in Malaysia back then introduced this subject to teach students the various skills in life. Be it starting a business as an entrepreneur, erecting impressive woodworks, sewing, cooking, gardening, to recognising wires in a socket to drawing architecture plans to cleaning the toilet, you name it, it's there! I wonder if they still keep this subject in the education system...hmmm....
1996-97 - In Sec 4, all students in Malaysia are streamed into different branches. I chose the Science Stream. I must admit i sucked in Science and Maths back then, so i'm wondering if it was peer pressure that made me do it ! I was never one to grasp logical concepts and i totally hated anything to do with numbers!!! Nevertheless, i was always in the top 5 in school. It wasn't my fault , you know. I had no choice but to turn into a nerd. I had no computer then, no ICQ, no MSN Messenger, no internet and *Oh My God* no cable TV!
Being in a secondary school back home was relaxing. They didn't put unnecessary pressure on you to perform. If you did below expectations, it's not the end of the world, and you wouldn't feel like shit. Sad to say, my happy-go-lucky and laidback lifestyle was brought to an abrupt change the following year as i was thrusted into a different education system in a neighbouring country.
Even now, years later, i would still wonder what might've been, have i chose to stay in my homeland at that juncture. Would i have turned out differently? Would i have been a better person? Haizzz....
I'm gonna talk about 1998-1999 next time. Ciaoz

Lame Singaporean Joke

One day, there were an American, one Italian, a Singaporean a Bangladeshi traveled around on a private helicopter.After about one hour of travelling, the American took out his cigarette Dunhill, lighted it up and started smoking after two sip, he threwt he balance of the cigarette. The other three persons were surprised and asked ; Why didn't you finish-up the cigarette before throwing?"He replied arrogantly, "There is a lot of cigarettes in my country."Half an hour later, the Italian took out a bottle of branded perfume and applied on him and the rest he threw out of the window. The other three persons were surprised and asked,;Why did you throw away the perfume?"The Italian replied also, "There is a lot of perfume in my country."The Singaporean didn't know what to do & suddenly pushed that Bangladeshi out of the helicopter. The other two persons shouted crazily, "Why did you push him !?"The Singaporean said slowly, "There is a lot of Bangladeshi in my country!" Everybody kept quiet and stayed away from the Singaporean.
~A joke i acquired from a birthday gal on Aug 3rd~